Thursday, May 2, 2013

Voice through the Silence

I wrote this post in July 2011 but I'm not sure I remember writing it. Considering everything going on in my life right now, I thought it would be great to share with you.  You see God has been waking me up early this week (between 3:30 and 4:00 am) to spend some alone time with him. The most awesome things happen when we say YES to God...even if it's 4:00 in the morning. 
In July of 2011, I was awoken at 3 o’clock with a throbbing neck-ache; I must have wrenched it at some point during the night. I got out of bed on a mission to find pain reliever. Trying not to waste time getting back to sleep, I adjusted the pillows and replaced the blanket over me. I was having absolutely no luck falling back to sleep. Always the multi-tasker, I decided to use the time as prayer time. After finding my comfortable spot I took a deep breath and began to pray. “Dear God, I'm going to use this quiet place to pray for anything or anyone you lay on my heart to pray for. Please prepare my heart and open my ears so I hear you.”
With my initial prayer prayed, I lay waiting for God to reveal people or issues to me. It had to have been only 10 seconds when I thought “Ok God, give me something. Here I am… waiting to receive. (I was a vigilant princess prayer warrior armed and ready to pray!) 

Silence. Seconds seemed like minutes. I began to toss and turn. Shifting from side to side. I was on a mission to pray!

Be still and know that I am God.

Huh... be still? Me? 

My thoughts drifted to the job I held 10 years earlier. The position was with a small business with growth opportunity, or so I thought. Perfect! I'd begin to work hard and climb the corporate ladder. As an employee, I was dependable and the team could count on me to get the job done. I didn’t have a child then and my husband traveled for a living so it was easy for me to focus all my attention on work. Motivated by the corporate ladder, I put in extra hours and helped with projects that had me pulling all-nighters and weekends. Whatever it took, I jumped at the opportunity because I knew these things would help me "climb." In the 10 years I worked for the company, my foot didn't move one rung. I had given "permission" to take advantage of me. 

Finally in 2002,stress had taken its toll on my body by manifesting 2 ruptured discs in my neck. After recovery I returned to my job but nothing changed...the stress soon returned and I physically couldn't take the pressure. My husband and I talked about the situation and agreed I needed a less stressful job. 

 Glad I got out of there...

Still waiting for God to give me something to pray about, my thoughts again turned to the job I had until July of 2012. 

This place of employment was completely different than the previous company except for one tiny little thing...STRESS. I went into the new company with the exact same hard and move up the ladder. Moving up didn't exactly happen here either. In 2011, I completely ditched the "climbing the corporate ladder" idea and became more concerned about receiving a full paycheck on time. The company was struggling and payroll was never made on time. 

In both of these jobs, the amount of stress i experienced trying to "climb" a ladder had taken me further away from where God intended me to be in the first place. 


God's plan for me did not include a corporate ladder; His plan includes something better. 

That night God had me up at 3:00 am for what I thought was going to be an intercession session. Boy was I farther from the truth. He needed me to be still so he could talk to me; away from my typical daily stressors.


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