Are you "heart-sick"?

Proverbs 13:12 (ESV) “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is the tree of life. “

For the longest time, I have been waking up between 5 and 5:30 to have my quiet time with the Lord. I find that the first thing in the morning is the best time for me to hear His voice. It’s also the absolute best way for me to start my day…. filling my “tank” with love from the Father.

One morning a few years back my son had other plans for my morning routine. He accidentally wet the bed and was up in full force at 4:10…  UGH! 4:30 is one thing but 4:10 that was entirely too early. After cleaning him and his bed, I turned the TV on got him his traditional breakfast of muffins and milk. I had high hopes of returning to my quiet time. I tried to read Proverbs 13 through one time. The operative word being “tried”, my morning routine was out of sorts and I found myself thinking “this is hopeless.” I had my owned agenda for the morning; I wanted to spend time in the word and then the few minutes I had writing. I also felt hopeless over the fact that my typical morning had been messed up.

When I arrived at work that very same morning I found the office empty. I decided to read back over Proverbs 13. I could definitely relate to the words in verse 12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” My morning routine had been messed up and I had given up all hope that I would find time to have my quiet time and write. A series of thoughts crossed my mind “how I am supposed to start my day off on the right foot when I can’t have my quiet time?  My mind raced as the thoughts ballooned from there.  Can you relate?  

My spirit spoke “how many times do you actually get to have this extra bit of time with Niko?” 

Yes my apple cart might have gotten upset, but it’s only one morning. When my son called for me to come and sit with him, I closed my Bible and enjoyed the extra time I with him.  I have often said that I wish I didn’t have to work a full time job so I can spend more time with Nikolas. God gave me that time with Nikolas. It was our special time in the quietness of the morning hours.

The “tree” of my life is full of answered prayer for my son. God gave us the desire of our heart when Nikolas became a part of our family.  He has brought us such joy and life and I cherish each moment God gives me with him.